Yuko...
Yu-kun, I want you to know.
You're really good, like I remember.
Don't look at it.
Sheesh, you're stingy.
It's not like it'll last longer if I look away.
You're just going to keep on talking if I let you look.
That unfriendliness of yours is why you don't have a girlfriend, you know.
Mind your own business.
Well, now that you have me, everything's fine, right?
So you've started drawing again.
I'm just taking a breather.
Spending all my time studying would actually decrease my efficiency.
So you rationalize everything?
Just as I'd expect of an honor student. You're good at ad-libbing, too.
Hey, you're making fun of me, aren't you?
Nope, I love you.
You're so frivolous with words, like always.
It's just that you're not taking it seriously, Senpai.
I really like you, Himura-senpai.
As long as I get to see your face like this, I feel like I can do my best to live through these days.
You haven't been getting enough sleep, have you?
Sometimes.
Keep that to a minimum, all right?
It's not a laughing matter.
Are you actually studying like you're supposed to?
Good night...
S u r f a c e
E x t e r i o r
Again?
Art Room
Hirono
Hey, Nagi!
Writing on desks is...
I can't do it anymore.
Huh?
I can't draw anymore.
Nagi?
Even if I do, the drawing gets distorted.
It turns into something I didn't draw.
I keep on drawing over and over again.
But the result turns out the same, without exception.
Little by little, I get confused about whether the picture is distorted, or the artist, or the world.
I'm starting to get nauseous just from picking up a paintbrush.
Maybe you're having what they call an artistic slump?
"It's not a phenomenon that can be defined by a common term like that."
That's what she said.
Who said that?
Me, as the painter.
She's warning me that if this keeps up, I might be unable to ever draw again.
You're giving yourself a warning?
The one giving the warning is me, as a painter.
The one who's hearing it is...
Please leave.
Huh?
Just leave!
The one who's hearing it is... me, as a woman.
R e a l M o t i v e
L i e
Yo, Himura!
You're fine for tomorrow, right?
Tomorrow?
My farewell party.
Ah, I forgot.
You sure are cold.
And you still consider yourself my best friend?
My bad.
Well, I guess it can't be helped.
You have a lot of other things to worry about, don't you?
I guess keeping quiet leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
What is it?
You made me research Yuko-chan, right?
Yeah.
I heard a story from the girls in her class.
According to them, they sometimes get the chills when they look into Amamiya-san's eyes.
Perhaps those girls are the ones who are frightened.
I'm sure you've felt it as well.
Yuko-chan seems a bit of a fraud.
Don't you think she's hiding something?
You're probably the only one who can ask her.
Senpai...
Do you believe in God?
Even if there really was a presence like God once, he's probably not here anymore.
Huh?
The world is full of people who detest fate.
People like that probably killed Him a long time ago.
You're probably right.
If He really did exist, I might have a complaint or two for Him.
Even you get angry?
I don't always wear a nice face, you know.
Everyone has multiple faces.
Faces?
Yes. It might be better to call them masks.
Are you hiding something with that mask as well?
Yes. Of course.
Girls are full of secrets, you know.
Would you like to know my secret?
Just as I thought, you're hiding something, aren't you?
If it's just you, I'll show you, Himura-senpai.
No.
I want you to see it.
The true me.
I agree with you too, Senpai.
Something like God doesn't exist anywhere.
Because there is no God, many sad and painful things occur.
If there really was a God, then I'd want him to make this world more beautiful.
A world where there's no hardship, where everyone is kind, and no one is left alone.
A fairytale world like that doesn't exist anywhere.
I know.
Which is why I want a world like that.
P a s t
F u t u r e
I'm still alive today too.
I'm serious.
I don't mind showing you.
No.
I want to show you.
Just you, Yu-kun.
S u r f a c e
I n s i d e
So you were still here, Nagi?
Hey, Yu.
Kuze's farewell party is going to begin soon.
I just thought of something.
Yu, if we combine Yu and Nagi, it spells "evening calm", doesn't it?
What's this, all of a sudden?
The evening calm is the time when the wind doesn't blow.
With no land or sea breeze,
the air just drifts.
But as time passes,
the wind starts to blow again.
Are you still unable to draw?
Yeah... I forgot.
I'm unable to draw, aren't I?
You're talking as if it's someone else's business.
It's because I know the cause.
Then hurry and resolve it!
You don't have any other redeeming qualities besides the ability to draw.
If that's all there is to the springtime of my youth, it would be a bit lonely.
Nagi...
Yeah. I was lonely.
Since both Kuze and you are drifting away from me.
I'm not going anywhere.
Are you serious when you say that?
You miss the point, as usual.
Or perhaps, you're pretending to miss the point?
I see.
I guess I was the one who missed the point,
since I didn't even notice my own feelings.
Nagi?
I thought this moment in time would last forever.
Even though that could never be true.
I guess I was too late to notice.
I'm sorry, Nagi...
Don't apologize to me!
I guess I couldn't draw because I couldn't see the true me.
I might be able to draw now.
Please go.
Isn't Yuko-chan waiting for you?
What, are we the only people you managed to gather?
Nope, I only planned to invite you two from the very beginning.
What's going to happen now isn't really a farewell party,
but more of a performance by Kuze Shuichi.
A performance?
I've never let you hear me play before, have I?
I'm going to give this to you as a parting present, so listen to it gratefully.
Oh? You sound as if you're going to play it only for Himura-senpai.
Ah, pardon me.
Today, for my two beloved friends, Himura Yu and Amamiya Yuko,
I'm going to give my last and best performance in this country.
In this place that's filled with memories.
Yuko?
Yuko!
On my way home with a smile on my face
looking for my voice that I have lost
I'm sorry, Himura-senpai.
I cried by accident.
To play so beautifully,
Kuze-senpai must have an honest and pure heart.
It was truly beautiful, a sound both serene and undistorted.
Kuze-senpai must've grown up being loved by everyone around him.
And that's why he can produce such beauty.
It was so beautiful that I couldn't bear to hear it.
"Perhaps there is some worth in this world."
I couldn't believe I was actually thinking that myself.
Why couldn't you just believe it?
Why can't you just accept what you felt?
Senpai...
Or do you truly believe there is no worth in this world?
Yuko, what are you holding back?
Nothing in particular.
That's a lie!
It isn't.
No, it's a lie.
You don't say what you want to say, and you don't ask what you want to ask.
When someone asks you a question, you don't answer.
All you do is fend it off with silence or nonsense.
Where does the truth end, and the lie begin?
When you say you love me, which is it?
Is it true, or is it a lie?
Yuko, please tell me.
Tell you... what?
Don't evade the question!
I want an answer!
You're arrogant, aren't you, Senpai?
I don't care if I'm arrogant.
Please tell me.
Why are you being so stubborn?
Because I love you!
That's why I want to know about you!
Is that true?
Yeah.
Do you really love me?
Yeah.
Do you really want to know about me?
Yeah.
Then...
will you really, really listen to my story?
Yeah.
You... finally said it.
I wanted to make you say it.
I needed you to want me...
T r u t h
M a d e u p
Please let me ask you one thing.
Sure.
When I was at the orphanage, I was always chasing you.
I watched you every day.
You're right.
But despite that, why didn't you become my older brother?
If you'd become my older brother, I could've...
I could've...
stayed beautiful.
Yu-kun, I want you to know...
how I really look.
I wonder where and how I messed up.
I'm always thinking about it, but I still don't know the answer.
Or perhaps, it's this world that's messed up?
Nii-san was nice.
He took me out to play, and he helped me with my studies.
He was nice to me, as if we were true siblings.
But, as his time with me kept accumulating, he must've realized...
that I wasn't his real sister.
Nii-san was trying to substitute me for his sister, who died in the earthquake.
But I was a different person.
His sister was no longer there.
The person with him was just a stranger.
When he realized that, he came to detest me.
Ever since he lost his sister, intense anger had been swirling inside his heart,
and he was looking for someone to vent his fury on.
And that's when I appeared.
At first, he just hit me and threw things at me.
But you know, he even treated my injuries,
and he apologized many times.
But two years ago, during that Christmas, he...
You know, I had my first experience during that Christmas.
He was thoughtful, wasn't he?
I really wanted to give my virginity to the one I loved.
I wanted my first time to be gentle and affectionate, and to be treated like a princess.
My dream was shattered into pieces in a heartbeat.
I was dressed nicely, you know, because it was Christmas.
I still had hopes.
I wanted my brother to praise me for dressing so cutely.
But after he hit me like usual, I fell, and my skirt flipped up.
When I tried to pull my skirt back down, he grasped my hands, and...
Stop it...
They were such cute clothes, too.
Stop it...
When I tried to resist, he hit me again.
Stop it!
He wouldn't stop even though I was crying.
Stop it!
In just one night, my body became unfit for marriage.
Stop it!
If you'd been my first, it would've been wonderful, Senpai.
If it had been you, you'd have done it gently, like that kiss.
It's unfortunate. Very unfortunate.
I don't have anything left anymore.
Neither a past that I can treasure, nor a future with any dreams.
I'm a tool to be used for anger and hate.
I'm a doll, that can't even substitute for the dead.
No!
You're neither a tool nor a doll!
Don't say you don't have a future!
As long as you're alive, there can be some happiness too!
No matter how painful the past is, it's possible to forget it!
As long as you keep on believing, it's even possible to change the future!
So... don't say that you don't have a future!
You really are simple-minded, aren't you?
This is from yesterday.
This is from the day before yesterday.
This was inflicted above the place that had almost healed over last week.
Maybe around the time that you were at home studying?
Yes. Even after I met you, it's been going on every night.
For a long time...
No, it may have gotten worse since I met you.
This is from the night after we were reunited.
This is from the night after you and Nagi-san went shopping.
This is from the night after I called you out on the rooftop.
This is from the night after you went and found my slippers for me.
This is from the night after we went out on a date to buy shoes.
If I show even a hint of unwillingness, he's severe.
If I try to avoid that by pretending to be obedient, he's more violent.
I wondered over and over whether I did something bad... something that deserves punishment like this,
but I couldn't think of anything,
and eventually, I started not to care anymore.
And now, I've become someone who is waiting for the day that I will disappear and be gone.
But... the days I have remaining are very harsh.
It hurts. It's hot. It's painful.
It's sad. It's harsh. I wanted to cry.
I couldn't stand it. I couldn't run. I couldn't resist.
It wouldn't end. I wanted to turn away. I wanted to scream.
I wanted to fight back. I wanted to throw up. I wanted to end it.
I wanted to resist. I wanted to oppose. I wanted to rebel.
I wanted to run. I wanted to hide. I wanted to avoid it.
I wanted to shut myself in. I wanted to refuse, I wanted to bite him.
I wanted to push him aside. I wanted to shake him off.
I was pursued, I was seized, I was dragged out.
I was attacked, I was forced, I was not forgiven,
I was restrained, I was bound, I was pushed,
I was torn apart, I was thrown, I was treated cruelly,
I wanted to groan, I wanted to scream, I wanted to go crazy,
I couldn't bear it.
I was grabbed, I was hit, I was torn,
I was crushed, I was cut, I was burned,
I was stabbed, I was burned some more, I was defiled,
I was ripped apart, I was ruined, I was destroyed,
I was mocked, I was toyed with, I was crushed.
I was trampled, he got tired of me, I was thrown out.
I was torn up, and he threw me away. I fainted, my pain went numb,
my heart was broken, I couldn't cry. But I was picked up again, and
I was grabbed again, I was hit again, I was defiled again.
I was torn again, I was crushed again, I was cut again,
I was stabbed again, I was burned again.
Even though I hate it.
Even though I hate it, even though I hate it...
Even though I hate it!
This is the true me, the one you didn't know.
This is the girl you abandoned.
This is the girl 1you abandoned.
tooi hi no yume oikakete
I chase after the dreams of a distant day
asa no hikari ni kieteyuku
and disappear into the morning light.
kurikaesu hibi no naka
Within the days that repeat themselves
utsurou kisetsu ga tookute
the changing seasons seem so far away.
kanawanai negai nara
If it is a wish that cannot be granted
kizukanai furi shite
I pretend that I don't notice
warau
and smile.
Senpai, do you remember that day?
That day?
I asked you, didn't I?
"Don't you want a sister?"
I found a distant relative that was willing to take me in.
But they said they'd respect my wishes about what I wanted to do.
At that time, you were the only person I could open my heart to.
If you'd said that you wanted a sister, then I...
But you shook off my hand.
Why couldn't you have said that you wanted a sister?
Why couldn't you have told me not to go?
Why couldn't you have told me to stay?
Why couldn't you have protected me?
Why not?
I didn't want to make you a substitute for her.
I didn't want... to make you a substitute for Akane, who'd died!
Liar.
Did you know, Senpai?
You have a habit of blinking a lot when you tell a lie.
But you told me that you loved me
without blinking.
But you're ten years too late.
What rises against everything, is courage.
Or perhaps...
ef - a tale of melodies.
Reflection.
Can you hear it? The melody of truth.